Thursday, January 22, 2009
Live fully today, and "Call your mother"
Hello Readers! My name is Denise from, "Koffords in Colorado" and Meme has graciously invited me to submit a post for her new uplifting blog. My mom passed away a few weeks ago after a year long battle with brain cancer. I have learned much from the life lessons she taught me, and that all of our lives are too short to live with any regret. My mom lived fully and savored every day of life...I know Meme is encouraging us to do the same. This post was written last month, while my mom was still living, but I wanted to post it to encourage you to appreciate your loved ones today!
We often hear or read this phrase on TV shows, magazine articles, etc... "Call your mother, she worries you know!"
Since the mid 1980's after moving away from home to attend college, I called my mother once a week. Usually on Sundays, because my mother always called her mother on Sundays. We would chat about the latest in our lives, who was doing what, where we went, and what was planned for the week. When we were both teachers, there were always stories to tell about school, bulletin board ideas, and yard duty escapades!
This phone calling routine repeated weekly, year after year.
Sometimes it felt like there wasn't much to say. Sometimes it felt like we just talked about the same things over and over again. Sometimes I felt busy and didn't feel like calling.
When my dad died, I called my mom daily. But after awhile this routine, selfishly at times, felt like an obligation and not as I realize now, a privilege.
Since my mom's diagnosis last Christmas Eve, I have had a complete turn around in my thinking. All of sudden, there is SO much to say! Suddenly, the unimportant feels VERY important. I want to tell my mom everything...
I want her to know that her granddaughter wrote a story about the two of them together, that she played two songs in the piano recital, and that she made a clay penguin in art class...I want her to know that her grandson did well on his math test, that he played Christmas songs on his violin, and that he can type more words per minute than I can.
I want to tell her about things I am learning and doing, and ask her for advice. I want to hear her opinion on everything from how much soy sauce to put in the stir fry recipe, to what all the words are to the Hawaiian song "Mele Kalikimaka". Brain cancer has taken away that ability to answer many questions, and to share her wisdom verbally.
I want to hear her voice strong and well and hear her say, "I love you" as if it weren't for the last time. I have saved a phone message she left for me a few months ago, because I just can't bare to erase her voice...the time will soon come when I will never see, or hear her again, so I am trying to memorize everything about her voice, her smile, her presence.
If your mother is still living, call her today. There may not be much to say, but if it were the last time you heard her voice, it wouldn't matter much what was said, except to hear and say, "I love you."