I am a planner by nature.
I don't do much without thinking it through and checking my calendar.
Living this way, life becomes rigid, and spontaneous moments never seem to happen without a day planner to dictate them.
My mom recently passed away and there is so much to do when it comes to closing the chapter to someone's life. I was feeling tired and ready for a change from the sadness of grief, so I did something new to me. Today, in the middle of phone calls, faxing death certificates, etc...etc... I did something I have never done before.
I did something spontaneously.
I didn't plan it a week in advance. I didn't run errands first, or think through all the ramifications of leaving my many tasks undone...
I just stopped everything.
And, in the middle of the day, all by myself, I went to the movies!
I bought popcorn and a soda, and sat by myself right where I wanted.
I watched a movie I've been anxious to see, but had never found the time to find a sitter, or plan for it. I watched 3 hours of "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" with only 8 other people in the theater!
And you know what? It was OK that I left my tasks undone. It was OK that the laundry sat, and that the dishes were left dirty in the sink. It was OK that the floor didn't get swept, and that I didn't get the closet cleaned that I intended.
There were decisions to be made, and phone calls to make, and e-mails to answer, and none of that got done. I let myself do something fun without feeling guilty that I wasn't grieving, or being productive, or doing something worthwhile with my time. I was just spontaneous, without a reason. And, it was OK. No, it was better than OK, it was good!
Today I lived fully. I savored the moment. And, I am glad! I hope YOU will find time to do the same...today!
Good for you. Sometimes we need to just escape all that calls us....and you did just that. I'm a fan!
ReplyDeleteSuzanne
Aww I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I am so happy to hear that you took time for you!! All that "stuff" will be there..so "try" to do a little something for you every day, you deserve it and are worth it.
ReplyDelete{{Big Hugs}}
Cathy
i love it! i am a major planner by nature...but going on the spur to a movie...maybe too much for me to handle. jk.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your mama. I will pray that God comforts you. Sometimes we do need to do exactly what you did. I am such a creature of habit that I don't embrace change very well and it unnerves me when things don't go as planned...so I realize that I need to step outside the box every now and again!
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you!